Basement NFL Picks, Week Two

Atlanta at Tampa Bay -7
Even though I’m becoming convinced that Gruden may be the worst coach for a QB in league history, the Falcons are still young, this one is outdoors and the Bucs D isn’t the Lions (even though they resembled it last week). By the way, if the Buccaneer do when by a lot with Griese at QB, then Jeff Garcia will have plenty of time to spend with his lovely wife (right) in the near future.
BUCCANEERS 17-13

Buffalo at Jacksonville -5.5
Obviously the people who make these spreads didn’t watch last week’s games. I like the Cats straight up, but this one will be low scoring and close. How close, how about a last second field goal.
JAGUARS 19-17

Chicago at Carolina -3
If the Bears can pull out back-to-back wins on the road to start the season. I’ll jump on their bandwagon. However, the Panthers will put nine in the box and dare the Bears to throw it.
PANTHERS 20-13

Tennessee at Cincinnati +1
I have no desire to even touch this one, but I promised I’d give you every pick and unlike with my wife, I like to keep my promises. The Bengals will look better at home, but I like the Titans without Young.
TITANS 24-21

New Orleans at Washington (E)
Again, I wouldn’t put a dollar on this game, but the Redskins look to be in disarray, while the Saints seemed to be in mid-season mode already.
SAINTS 24-13

Sarah Palin, Wearing Clothes

For some odd reason, people just want to see the Republican Vice Presidential nominee naked. How do I know?These are the word searches people used and found my site:

Sarah Palin Nide

Palin Nude

Indsay Lohan blow job

sarah palin + nude

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sarah palin naked.

It’s my own fault. I posted this the other day. You think I would have learned.

Sarah Palin as Mayor

FINALLY! We did it. We searched everywhere and we finally found video footage of Sarah Palin when she was Mayor of Wasilla.

Without a doubt, she’s un-blinking in time of crisis.

Basement Rankings – NFL Week Two

#1 DALLAS – Tony Romo beats the Browns, comes home and helps a old couple change a flat tire and then I assume goes home to have sex with Jessica. What a life.

#2 GREEN BAY -The Packers handled everyone’s favorite Superbowl Sleeper. I’ll say it again, Green Bay is better without Brett Favre.

#3 NY GIANTS - I was actually less than impressed by their 9-point win over a clueless Redskin team, but we won’t learn anything new in week two. They’re facing the Rams.

#4 PITTSBURGH -This one was too easy. Remember though, before you get too hyper. This is a team that is just 6-10 on the road the last to years. Do it on the road and I’ll be more impressed.

#5 NEW ORLEANS -Now that’s a lot of yards for 24 points, but a win is a win and you have to win the home divisional games.

#6 DENVER -It was only Oakland, but Cutler looked like a star. I knew I should have drafted him.

#7 INDIANAPOLIS -Rust. That’s all it was. I’m not buying ‘this team is old’ crap.

#8 CAROLINA -Lucky? Good? Who cares. You won a game no one expected you to win, thus knocking out many suicide pool players.

#9 NEW ENGLAND – Karma for cheaters. Maybe there is a God.

#10 MINNESOTA -What happened to that vaunted defense. They got shredded by a first-time starter.

Tony Romo…the man, the myth, the Triple A

When I think of 9/11, I think of Tony Romo.

We Wear Short Shorts

You know you’re a redneck…here.

NFL WEEK ONE, A LOOK BACK

The week that was (so far). I only went 9-5 straight up, not too impressive. The home teams really stepped up, nailing down 11 wins. I also had a losing week with the spread, going 7-7. Yep, batting .500 in betting is bad. Let’s see what happened. If I bet $100 on each game, right now I’m down $100 for the year.

NY Giants 16-7 Washington (+4)
I PREDICTED GIANTS 27-20. The Giants won, but it was less than impressive. The Redskins looked lost and Campbell has regressed in the West Coast Offense. New York went conservative in the second half, failing to produce a point in the second half.

New Orleans 24-20 Tampa Bay (+3)
I PREDICTED SAINTS 34-20. I nailed the losers points, so that’s something, right? The two teams ran up 790 total yards, but only managed 44 points. Reggie Bush looked like a #1 fantasy player this week. Was it a fluke?

Philadelphia 38-3 St. Louis (+7.5)
I PREDICTED EAGLES 35-30. You know I spend all pre-season telling everyone the Rams will suck, that their O-line can’t do anything. I refuse to draft any Rams’ players on my fantasy team, but then I go ahead and predict that they score 30 points. Jackass. The Eagles aren’t this good, so this could get ugly in St. Louis.

Pittsburgh 38-17 Houston (+6.5)
I PREDICTED STEELERS 28-17. Now this jut pisses me off. A year after Willie Parker kills my fantasy season, he rushes for three touchdowns, one more than he had ALL OF LAST SEASON. How long before the Texans start screaming for Sage?

Sullivan All Over It

Going away for the weekend to a wedding in Ohio, so I’ll leave you with Andrew Sullivan, who again is on top of it.

Run Sarah Run

It looks like Sarah Palin is not going to be doing an interview countdown anytime soon, which means our little countdown might be going on for a long while. What next, she’s going to skip the debate with Biden to spend “more time with her family?”

I can only hope these reports are untrue. Can a VEEP really not do a press conference, not do a single interview with a single reporter? Hell, she hasn’t even done a radio interview with Rush, Sean or Hugh, and those guys would put the softballs up on the tee for her.

Come on Palin, you’re the greatest thing for the Republicans since sliced (white) bread, what are you afraid of? I’m sure you have answers to why you’re lying about being against the ‘Bridge to Nowhere’. I’m sure you can explain all those duties you’ve performed as head of the Alaskan National Guard. I’m sure there is a good explanation for why when you were mayor your town went from a surplus to a dept in your short time as mayor. I’m sure you got the answer to why your state, while you were governor, leads the nation in most earmark money/per person in the country, yet you’re going to fight earmarks. I’m sure there is a good reason why as governor you have shot down any type of alternative energy for your state and you slashed funding for teen moms. I believe you have to have an answer to why it was okay for you to tax Windfall profits of Alaskan oil companies and give the money straight to the people was a good idea, but it’s a bad idea when Obama suggests it, it is a bad idea.

I’ll even throw in some easy ones like, what’s the difference between a Shia and Sunni? Let’s talk about why you believe the Bible should be taught in Public Schools next to Science? Can you explain to me how you didn’t know the Pledge was not created by the Founding Fathers? If your daughter was raped, would you really not let her have an abortion if she wanted one? If you don’t believe that Global Warming is Man-Made, then will you support all of McCain’s Green policies? Who is the prime minister of Russia? What steps would you take to ban abortion? Do you STILL not know what a Vice President (the second most important person in our Constitution, does?

Run Sarah Run.

John McCain’s Speech

My reaction to John McCain’s speech last night…BULLSHIT.

The story was beautiful, POW. The theme, Washington is broken and we’re (Republicans) partly to blame. Very touching, but BULLSHIT.

Unless you’ve been in a coma the last four days, woke up to hear this speech and did not see a single bit of footage or read a single article, you would know that the last four days just contradicted anything relevant John McCain said.

Let me get this straight, you’re the party that’s suppose to reach across the aisle to get things done? But I was just told for four days that I’m to blame. Liberals, East Coast Liberals, Cosmopolitan Liberals, Elitist, the media, the elitist media, San Francisco, SF values….it’s everybody else’s fault except for the people who have been in control.

Listening to the convention, I could have sworn that the Democrats have been in power the last eight years. John Stewart said it best, “Electe us (Republicans) to fix the problems we are responsible for.”

I’m sorry, but I’m fed up with this crap. If I hear one more thing about small town America and small town values, I’m going to puke. Like somehow because I went to college, had success in my career and I live in the city, I’m not a true American. BULLSHIT!

I live in New York City and I believe in the Constitution. I don’t believe in God, yet I still have morals. I’m a liberal, but I’ve supported every war since I’ve been an adult, except the last invasion of Iraq. Disagreeing  with a policy does not make me less of an American than anyone else.

Listen up people, you the ones that are still undecided…this election is about issues. What do you believe in? This election is not about character and you don’t make decisions with your gut. This election is not about voting for the first black guy or the first woman, either way, one is going to happen, so forget history. Just look at the party’s platform…the freaking Republicans not only want to prevent federal funding for stem cell research (which they have succeeded because of Bush’s veto), but they want to ban ALL private stem cell research!! Who is running this party? I thought John McCain was suppose to be some kind of Maverick. I guess he is, since a large majority of Americans support Stem Cell research.

Listen up people in Colorado, New Mexico, Nevada, Ohio, Virginia and New Hampshire…the states that will really decide this election. What do you believe in? What do you really believe in? New Hampshire has on their license plates, “Live Free or Die,” yet they voted Republican in 2000 and 2004. The same Republicans who have tortured and wired tapped illegally all in the name of ‘protecting you’. You vote for McCain, you can change that slogan from “Live Free or Die” to “Protect Me at All Costs.”